Thursday, July 26, 2012

What happened?

I don't know if anyone else ever feels like this... But sometimes I feel like I've forgotten how to play. I know that sounds kind of stupid, but lately Finn has really been wanting to play with Dennen and I. He will say "play, play," over and over again until we sit down with him and play. When I sit down with him I don't know what to do... A lot of times it just seems like he wants my presence when he plays and nothing else. During those times I usually don't sit very long until I think of something I need (maybe want is more of an appropriate word) to do. I'm lame. I can't even sit down with my kid and play with him.

Do you remember the age that you stopped playing? I feel like it was during my teen years... I used to call my friends up and ask them if they wanted to play. And we played, like kids do. But then one day it turned from "do you want to play?" to "do you want to hang out or do something?" I feel like in my own adult way I've forgotten how to play like a kid does.

Playing involves no specific plan. Maybe that's why it's hard for me? I know it's probably not that difficult for most, but it's sometimes hard to turn off my busy mind from other things I want to be doing and just relax. I just have to keep reminding myself that when Finn is a teenager he will probably want nothing to do with his parents. What types of activities and things do you do to play with your kids? I need some ideas...


Maggie said...

"Play" for our crew is always most successful when we are doing something that we all enjoy. The hardest part for me is to figure out things we both like. Things we both like are:
crafts-my kids like making messes, which is pretty much what crafting is for small ones. At least when we're crafting, I'm doing something I like and the mess making is controlled. (Think glue, paper, sequins, etc.)
playing catch-it's really funny the "games" we make up when all we have is a ball. My favorite "game" was fetch. I'd throw the ball and they would run and get them.

kedvarchuk said...

Well Sadie is a bit younger than Finn but sometimes I don't know what to do with her either....but I give her big boxes to crawl in and we go to the park and throw rocks in the pond and play in the water...I think its more that he just wants your time. Good luck!

Katie said...

Welcome to being part of the Laird family lineage.

In my expereince, they taught us how to work hard so relaxing doesn't come as second nature. Sometimes I have to literally force myself to just sit in a chair and enjoy doing nothing.

Garrett and I were in Chicago at a science museum and we played this game where you wore electrodes on your head and it measured your brain activity. Then you each stared at a little ball. The calmer your brain, the farther the ball moved away from you. The goal was to get it over to the other person first by having the calmest brain waves.

The match between Garrett and I lasted 4 second...I am incapable of calming my brain down.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, I remember that. Right now, its with video games. I am not so good at them and I'm a girl which pretty much leaves me out of "getting it" but, I do appreciate the invite now and then and I sure try! And if I do sit down to game, my son at the old age of 16 is pretty happy that I gave it a whirl! Also because I am an easy win, but whatever, I don't mind ;)

When my son was younger, I noticed how my husband played. Guys know how to play. My husband could make mighty big fun out of a cheerio and lego block!
I learned to realize that the laundry waits, it will still be there day in and out. But my son would be a young man before I knew it! I started to go to play and build my own thing or race my own cars and then pretty soon, we were playing together. I think sitting down to play builds that community in family. He will continue to invite you into his world, and as he grows and gets older, becomes more independent, this will continue too. He will include you in his world. Its not overindulgent to rock your children, hold them, cuddle them or sit down for a while and play with them. Its nurturing and loving and it builds the strong foundation we all need.
So, put aside the chores, they will wait, trust me. I think your sweet son can teach you how to play, he knows a thing or two!

Kari said...

I'm no help. I have no idea how to play.

The Kynastons said...

All Macie ever wants me to do is play pretend with her...pretend kitchen, dolls, going swimming, etc. etc. But my problem is "unplugging." I find myself constantly on my phone or laptop when I'm "playing" with Macie. I need to be better at just REALLY focusing on her and what she wants to do. It's hard sometimes to get back into a kid mindset as adults. But I have found that if I really do take the time to sit and play with her for awhile, then she'll be more satisfied to play by herself for longer afterwards.

As far as ideas of things to do...Macie really like playdough lately. It's super easy to make homemade and pretty fun to play with. Another favorite is getting out mini marshmallows and toothpicks and just go to town connecting them all and seeing what creations we can make. :)

P.S. Thanks for your order from my shop!!! I'm going to get your earrings in the mail on Monday!

megs and josh said...

You'll figure it out :) I dunno just find your inner child, relax, and most of all have fun! Love you Guys!

Anonymous said...

Playing is the opposite of planning. The Smith's are the best planners in the world! Next time Finn asks you to "play" just remember some of the children's stories and act them out. The rest will come. We sure love you guys and miss you!


Anonymous said...

Playing is the opposite of planning. The Smith's are the best planners in the world! Next time Finn asks you to "play" just remember some of the children's stories and act them out. The rest will come. We sure love you guys and miss you!


Anonymous said...

So many good comments. When you get through trying all of them it will be time to connect with Finn's next "WANT".

Callie said...

I have the same problem! Berkley wants to play with me all the time and I just get bored and want to do something productive! I think everyone else is right when they say he just wants your time and attention. We like to color, read, play memory games, or build towers and knock them over.