Thursday, February 28, 2013

Rowan's Birthday

One year ago today was the hardest day of my life. We had hopes of bringing a baby girl into the world, but our hearts were broken when we found out that she had died. Nothing can compare to that sinking, falling, moment in time when the world just doesn't seem like it will ever be right again.

Now that a year has passed, we are able to look back at all of the love that people have showed us, and continue to show us. Maybe that's one of the reasons difficult things happen to people... To bring out one of the best qualities in human beings, unconditional love for others who are struggling.

Today wasn't a day of sadness. It was a day of love and remembrance. It was also a day to remember others who are going through dark times of their own. I have a friend who just recently lost her twin baby girls after they were born on the 26th. So close to Rowan's birthday... It's those people who I think of now. Not myself. I was in her shoes a year ago and I haven't forgotten what it felt like. I doubt I ever will. Which is a good thing, because it gives one perspective and empathy for others.

I told Finn that it was Rowan's birthday today. And he said, "birthday cake?" I told him probably not today, but we would go get a balloon and a flower to put in the cemetery on a grave. He was really excited to let the balloon go up in the sky to "send it to Heaven for Rowan". We also looked through her memory box and at the book we had made for her.

I am grateful to God for carrying us through this year. And I am grateful that she will always be part of our family.

Angel Band by The Stanley Brothers on Grooveshark Palms Of Victory by Various Artists / Various Artists on Grooveshark


Jacquelyn said...

Happy Birthday Rowan! I love this. You guys are so strong and truly have an eternal perspective. How beautiful! And little Finn is so cute. Love his little voice.

Mandy said...

I just love this. Happy Happy Birthday Rowan. I think she left such an impact on so many people, including our family. We love you guys.
Love, Mandy

Gwendolyn Fullmer said...

Happy Birthday Angel Rowan.

The Murray Family said...

I started off the month thinking of you on your birthday and finished off the month thinking about Rowan and your family all day yesterday. February 28th will always be her day. You have been such an example of how to turn to Heavenly Father in hard times rather than turning away. Thank you for that. Happy Birthday Rowan!

Kari said...

I want to say happy birthday, Rowan, but happy seems a little weird to say. Maybe bittersweet birthday? I had been thinking recently that it's almost been a year, and here it is. I'm glad to hear it wasn't a day of sadness.

Jenn said...

A little late, but I wanted to wish her a happy birthday too. She has definitely touched my life.

kim edvarchuk said...

What a beautiful post. I know its late but we were thinking of you guys on her birthday and said prayers for your family and Rowan. Thank you so much for your kindness as we follow in your shoes and mourn the loss of our little girls. Your empathy has definitely eased our burdens and sadness!