A grief observed

Years ago I read 'A grief observed,' by C.S. Lewis. The book is about the time after he lost his wife. He writes every thought and emotion of how he feels. His writings are so honest. Here are some quotes from the book that in a way, portray how I feel at times.


"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."
-C.S. Lewis

"Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief."
-C.S. Lewis 

"Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand."
-C.S. Lewis 

"It is hard to have patience with people who say 'There is no death' or 'Death doesn't matter.' There is death. And whatever is matters. And whatever happens has consequences, and it and they are irrevocable and irreversible. You might as well say that birth doesn't matter."
-C.S. Lewis 



Missing Rowan is so hard, the grief ebbs and flows. There are times when I feel normal and people probably think, "she's handling it well." There are other times when I just lay down and sob. I can honestly say though, that I am grateful for the times that I feel normal and happy. Little by little I know those good times will increase.