Friday, May 10, 2013

Number 3

I figure it's time that I tell friends and family that I'm pregnant. I think I'll always be reluctant to tell people I'm pregnant because of the perspective I've gained from Rowan's death and from Finn's not so easy beginnings.

I never want to be one of those women who shout it from the roof tops that they're pregnant. First, because you never know what another woman's situation may be. She may have just lost a baby, or maybe she isn't able to get pregnant (reasons why you should also probably never ask when or if a woman is planning on having kids).

Second, you never know what will happen. This baby could die tomorrow for all I know. Maybe that sounds a little pessimistic to some, but if you'd been through what I have, I bet you could see where I'm coming from. I've realized that where childbirth seems to come easy to some, there are many, many others that it doesn't.

Dennen and I feel excitement and hope, but at the same time, we also have feelings of apprehension and doubt. It's almost as if you want to protect yourself by not feeling at all because you don't want to get hurt again.

I'm about 19 weeks right now. Coming up on the half way point! I am due October 8th (but taking in to account my past track record... I'm guessing September sometime).  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I'll try to do updates here and there for our family and friends.


16 comments:

Jacquelyn said...

Congrats to you and your little family! You are in our prayers. Stay hopeful. I believe you will see wonderful things ahead. You guys are a wonderful family! So happy for you!

megs and josh said...

Wahooo! I'm so excited for you guys and to have another neice/nephew. I can't believe you didn't tell us in Boston! You are so sneaky. Love you lots :)

Maggie said...

I'm so very happy for you. I can't keep it secret, but I understand completely about wanting it to be a private matter. I love you guys lots!

Ps. And on an entirely unrelated topic, my kids have been asking for some more "Finn Videos" so if you could pass some along you'd make our house happy indeed.

Emily R said...

I tell Tyler I'm a realist, not a pessimist. :) And congrats! How can be halfway through and no one could guess anything in Boston? I remember that when I tried not to tell people too soon my mom's reaction when I spilled the news was, "I thought you had been snacking a little more than usual."

MSmith said...

Well, holy cow!!! Did you have the little sucker stuffed in your leg the whole time we were together in Boston? I'm so happy. God and all his angels will be hearing from me on a regular basis. Love you so much!

Anonymous said...

:) :) :) :) ;)

LOVE YEA ALL!

Dad

Kari said...

Congrats! I'm not one to shout things from the rooftops, either. I for sure emotionally distance myself during the first trimester, and as I've said before, I'm not one to really bond with my unborn baby or even brand new newborn baby. I hope things are different this time around with a vbac and a different (non-hospital) environment.

I so agree with you about not asking someone about future kids. The same goes for, "Are you pregnant?" if you do any little thing that shows that you may have a kid in the future. I had a miscarriage last August, and any time I would mention having a kid in the future, someone would ask me. I wanted to be like, "No, but I did just have a miscarriage, so thanks!" just to make them feel bad. ha. I guess that's not nice of me, but people should start thinking before talking. At least I learned what not to do!

Anyway, I hope you're able to feel somewhat peaceful during this pregnancy and not stress too much. I'll be thinking about you!

Anonymous said...

Well,well,well, that is happy news! God bless you and keep you healthy, stress free, and happy. We are anxiously waiting for a new grandchild! love to all Dennen, Finn and Hilary.
g-Jane

Ry and Heather said...

I agree with EVERYTHING you said. I HATE when people ask me when/if I'm having anymore kids. If only they knew :) When I was pregnant with Asher I honestly didn't believe I was going to hold him and "have" him until he was in my arms! I'm happy for you guys and y'all will be in our thoughts! If you need to chat or SHOUT your excitement - let us know haha Ry says congrats too!

Here's to an uneventful, boring, but happy pregnancy! Love y'all!

kim edvarchuk said...

Hilary, Congrats to you and Dennen. That is sooo exciting. I will be praying that everything goes smoothly. I know exactly how you feel. We have talked about future kids and in the back of my mind is this secret little fear that something might go wrong. Its hard to shake the apprehension and I'm not even pregnant yet.

Am so happy for you (and you look absolutely stunning at 19 weeks by the way).

Birrell Family said...

You are in our prayers. We are thrilled for you and pray that all will be well. No one does pregnancy cuter than you :)

Dan+Alli said...

This is such exciting news! SO happy for you! You will be in our thoughts and prayers. Sending positive vibes your way!!

The Kynastons said...

HIL!!!! What wonderful news! I think it is completely normal to feel apprehensive in your situation. After my miscarriage I liked waiting as long as I could to tell people, as well....although I couldn't hide it nearly as long as you can. :) But I know that Heavenly Father is watching out for you guys and you'll definitely be in my prayers. I'll be excited to hear the gender when (if) you guys find out. Congratulations!

Claudia said...

Heartfelt congratulations! I hope many joyful moments fill these days!

Prayers for your dream come true.

Jenn said...

YAY!! I'm so excited for you guys. That is the best news! I love what you wrote, because you're right, so many women struggle with pregnancy. It's such a tender issue. Praying for you, sweet Hilary.

Lizz said...

Hurray! Tyson and I are so excited for you and Dennen! We will pray for your sweet family :) love yall!